pretty men sing

Oh my gosh! This darnded computer will not let me post anymore...grrr...I have had SO much to say...but NO COOKIES! What the heck does that even mean? Computers do not eat, oh no no...and if they do, they certianly do not SHARE! Gosh.

I have been so SUPER busy with work. New owners, new rules, new frustration. Dispite the language barier, and lack of days off, it has not been all that bad actually. I got my ministry, which was wonderful. I feel like a brand new me. Actually, to be honest, I feel quite the same...just betterified. It is my birthday in a couple weeks, woot. I will be 20. It is pretty exciting actually. The last few years have been hard on my birthday, novemeber nineth seems to be a hard day to remember for most people...but I have realized that God knows, God remembers, and he gives me the best presents of all! Seriously, it was a great revelation.

I miss Toronto, there is so much more to do...not that I would have any time to do any of it. I need money. A lot of money. If I won the 54 million, I would use it to pay off bills, debt, car, house, retirement, friends and family stuff...travel...and then give a good 45 million to Pakistan. I mean...oh my gosh, what is with the Canadian/American psyci? We gave so much to New Oreleans, so we have done our good deeds for the year...it is quite sickening. Do you all watch the news? We gave over double...triple...to N.O, and there was only 2% of the damage! Gosh.

I really should not talk, concidering I did not give ANYTHING! haha...no, not funny...seriously gross me out!

I should go...I have work to do. But oh my goodness, I hope I can post something for real soon!

peace out neighbours!

the ramblings

Hello again dear readers, although you are few and far between (whatever that means) (actually, I know exactly what it means, and I totally meant to say it!) (peeerrrfect!) Okay, moving right along...actually, I totally did NOT finish my first sentence! So let me do that right now...

...few and far between, I cherish y'all, and plan to update you on my present living circumstances.

There. Fini!

Not the post dumb dumb (you are not stupid, it was more endearing than anything), just the first sentence.

Okay, Noah moved home, things have been crazy. SO crazy that I had to cancel my thanksgiving plans, and run away to Toronto for a few days. I am extremely frustrated with the whole situation. The situation in its entirety is extremely frustrating. Amen and amen. My new cars name has been changed yet again. I know I said Morton was the final answer, but to be honest with you, his first name was Cameron, and it has stuck. It is honestly my final answer. Done and done. Wow. This entire entry is confusing to the max.

I am going for counseling in two weeks. I am very nervous about it, but let me tell you, it is HIGH TIME that I got some help. I did not mean anything by the capital 'high' either...seriously!
I feel like I am a canon ball...just ready to explode. Wait a second there missy...canon balls don't explode, they just smash things...right?! hmmm...weird.

I think it is pretty clear that my brain is entirely somewhere else, so I am going to leave you all with a final thought...

If water is liquid, and salt is a solid...what is lettuce??

Thank-you come again. PLEASE!

here we go again...

For those of you who are unaware (that makes most of you) my brother, Noah, has been gone these two weeks, gracing the land of Alberta with his presence. He joined a YWAM (youth with a mission) base there, where he hoped to journey his way to Thailand. (You may have noticed my use of past-tense...good eye mate) Noah has made some rather delicious decisions in the last month...he gave up some bad habits, and chose to avoid unpleasant company. For the few weeks before his trip accross the country...he made me insane! At home all the time, nintendo in the living room, talk talk talk talk talk about nothing that made any sense to me at all...up at all hours of the night playing his movies loud enough to scare our horses...exaggeration alert...but seriously...it was SO bad. BUT...he left...he went away, and brought the anxiety with him. Something lifted off the house, and it was amazing. Peace. Wonderful, sweet, stress-free peace. Until. It happened. Noah has developed kidney stones and shall be returning home in two days. TWO DAYS. I had two weeks! TWO WEEKS. Shall I never catch a break.

I love him. I just did not miss him. I love him a lot. But he needs to move. He needs to move immediatly.

In other news, I have decided to put to death my childish spending of money that I earn through sweat and tears...and sometimes...blood. Yes. I have given birth to a new, more adult (is that contradictory?) finacial investment. I purchased a vehicle. A new vehicle. Well, it is not NEW, but it is 2002. I think it is very attractive. I would date it in human form. I have named it DEREK. Derek is my baby, and even if everyone else hates him, I shall love him with all the love in my heart. Derek is precious. I am commited to Derek...or at least to his...uhhh...legal guardians?...biological parents?...step parents? I am not sure where that metophor was going...the point is I have to have a stable income for three years...to pay the car off, and pay inssurence for the rest of my LIFE! Did I spell that right...am I spelling any of this right...damn spell check does not work on this computer...so I have to deal with it.

Thanksgiving is a time to share and laugh and love and thank. (this is early, but let's face it, I won't have time to post before or shortly after the date!) I am having a meal for those who I am thankful for, not all of them are going to be able to come, and so...to you...the reader...I extend my thanks. Thanks for being there, thanks for talking to me at some point in my life, thanks for giving me smiles, and even tears...you have all added a spark...a special spark...your all treasures.

Change in tone. Okay. My new bosses start tomorrow...uh oh. It should be a rocking time...and by rocking...I mean subway will be on the rocks. The very high up and jagged ones, the ones that are damaging, life threatening, and you can't get down cuz you are surrounded by angry bears and cougars and wild turkeys. I am pretty worried. Work is going to be a stress. I will make it. Maybe.

Until next time, keep smiling, know that you are loved by at least one person...and he is the greatest person that ever existed or still exists or will exist ever....and he lives in me...and so i can't help but feel the same! I love you all...with the love of the Lord...which is pretty strong...so...yeah.