back to the drawing board
I was thinking about marriage today. I have decided, until further evidence comes my way, that marriage is completly in our hands, much like our destiny. Sure! God may offer us some suggestions (not unlike a prophetic word) but ultimatly, we have free will.
A friend once asked me if I thought there was only one person 'out there' for everybody. In my head, I thought, 'well, that depends on how big you think God is; how involved do you really believe he is in our lives.' I just answered no.
It became a bitter nagging at the back of my mind. How much DOES God care, is he going to bring along my husband, and POOF, we are in love?! Paul even suggests that we never marry, due to it's endless need for attention, a potential distraction from God. Debbi says that marriage is one of the most selfish things on the planet (although I believe the opposite).
I guess it is just one of those things. When I get to heaven, I will just walk straight up to God and ask him..."Lord, did you really mean for me to betroth ___________________(to be announced)?
I guess the past few months have been trying for me. I have been surrounded by people at work and at home who's marriages have failed, or, even worse, have fallen into some sort of a hateful silence. Have I mentioned that silence in a marriage is one of my biggest fears? There is NO WAY that we can fully know another person, so there is no excuse to pretend that there is nothing another person can say to interest you...you married them; and hopefully it was for more than their bootylicious ass. Don't get me wrong, silence is a need...but eternal silence, neverending mind wars, looking all over the room to avoid eye contact...that is my hell! My parents are doing the best they can for some couples, but I know a lot of them will go home, and fall back into their depressing habits. I guess I am just losing hope in the area of relationships.
I know in my heart of hearts that I will be SO happy, and in love with a male...some male...out there. But when? When I am thin...sigh...it was my first thought. It is not just a world standard. It is a guy standard...
UNGODLY BELIEF 101 - book me
Bethany Critchley
Penetanguishene Ontario
Can anybody say Pity Party. Don't worry, you are not invited.
Subject change-
I have not sung for over a year. It is killing me. I may not be the best singer in the world, but it makes me happy. It is like having a paint brush violently riped out of the hands of a painter, or the scissors out of the grip of a hairdresser, or a little red fire truck kicked accross the floor so hard that the ladders goes flying off the top of it. And I am little Jonny, trying his best not to cry about something so pathetic...it was pathetic Jonny, but it made you happy. So go grab your daddy's super glue, and glue that ladder back on! And you play, you play until you just can't play any more!
I really want to sing.
Well, I think it is time for me to go to bed. I have a very long, and emotionally tiring day tomorrow.
There is a love
B
A friend once asked me if I thought there was only one person 'out there' for everybody. In my head, I thought, 'well, that depends on how big you think God is; how involved do you really believe he is in our lives.' I just answered no.
It became a bitter nagging at the back of my mind. How much DOES God care, is he going to bring along my husband, and POOF, we are in love?! Paul even suggests that we never marry, due to it's endless need for attention, a potential distraction from God. Debbi says that marriage is one of the most selfish things on the planet (although I believe the opposite).
I guess it is just one of those things. When I get to heaven, I will just walk straight up to God and ask him..."Lord, did you really mean for me to betroth ___________________(to be announced)?
I guess the past few months have been trying for me. I have been surrounded by people at work and at home who's marriages have failed, or, even worse, have fallen into some sort of a hateful silence. Have I mentioned that silence in a marriage is one of my biggest fears? There is NO WAY that we can fully know another person, so there is no excuse to pretend that there is nothing another person can say to interest you...you married them; and hopefully it was for more than their bootylicious ass. Don't get me wrong, silence is a need...but eternal silence, neverending mind wars, looking all over the room to avoid eye contact...that is my hell! My parents are doing the best they can for some couples, but I know a lot of them will go home, and fall back into their depressing habits. I guess I am just losing hope in the area of relationships.
I know in my heart of hearts that I will be SO happy, and in love with a male...some male...out there. But when? When I am thin...sigh...it was my first thought. It is not just a world standard. It is a guy standard...
UNGODLY BELIEF 101 - book me
Bethany Critchley
Penetanguishene Ontario
Can anybody say Pity Party. Don't worry, you are not invited.
Subject change-
I have not sung for over a year. It is killing me. I may not be the best singer in the world, but it makes me happy. It is like having a paint brush violently riped out of the hands of a painter, or the scissors out of the grip of a hairdresser, or a little red fire truck kicked accross the floor so hard that the ladders goes flying off the top of it. And I am little Jonny, trying his best not to cry about something so pathetic...it was pathetic Jonny, but it made you happy. So go grab your daddy's super glue, and glue that ladder back on! And you play, you play until you just can't play any more!
I really want to sing.
Well, I think it is time for me to go to bed. I have a very long, and emotionally tiring day tomorrow.
There is a love
B
posted by dearbethany @ 9:08 p.m.
4 Comments:
At 12:23 a.m.,
Beckers said…
"Wuv and Mawedge goes together like a howse and cawedge...."
Happily ever after is how your story will be completed bethany...and WTH...you are so hot right now... For serious!!!
Loose weight if you want to, but do it only for you, cuz B2 says you are frickin HOTTT!!!!
At 9:33 p.m.,
Anonymous said…
I've heeded your call and am going to respond to your post.
Along with the "skinny is a standard" man view, I think that the thoughts of marriage go through a guys head all the time.
I constantly wonder who I'll marry. In God's hands? I think our lives are in God's hands. But free will and our choices ultimately make things happen.
Lose some weight? yeah that's probably true. Guys look at looks first contrary to the odd one out who says he looks at the heart and personality first. Liars!
Your beautiful Bethany, no need to lose weight unless it's something that you want to do.
All extra weight means is that there's more to love. You know what?
In case you were wondering what I get out of our friendship... it's your joy and company that I value 100% and the fact that you are a very REAL person that I can talk with without feeling guilty or annoyed with.
I love you with a capital "L"
At 7:18 p.m.,
Beckers said…
Betha Boo rhyms with Polka Roo
...hmmmmm
Experiment 626 signing off!!!
At 10:25 p.m.,
Sgt Steve said…
what the crap, you ARE the best singer in the world. I mean, at least in the top ten for sure....
and as for the marrige thing, I think that marriage is in our hands, and Gods. I think that God will lead you to a speacial someone but then you take it from there. You will make the final decision about who you marry, cause remember, God will never override your free will. Ya just some thoughts for you. Beth your a great gal, and I not just saying that to make you feel better, you really are. And frik, your still young. no worries, just have fun for now. I hope you get your ladder back soon...
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