flat out disgusted!

No excusses, I have none. I think that sentance had an issue in the double negative area of things. Whatev. Okay, here is the deal, I have been loving my life lately. I, in the last few days, have had a large revelation of just how grounded I am. I have been talking about God with everyone lately(everyone being several people of all different ages)...and it starts off with them saying that God does not exist...by the end of the conversation they ALWAYS end up saying...well...yeah...I have always believed in God I guess.

I have never burned the church as a body...the people...the real temple...but I have mentioned all the flaws with church....the system, the building, the laws...and the second you back off and admit that people have tampered with something they had no right too, the people I talk too just seem to open right up. They admit that the church...the system...has really burned them, and is the reason they don't believe in God. When I mention that God is all about relationship, and love, and he lives in us...not in the clouds...their entire faces change...you can tell it is sinking in. I love it. I know that they will probably not change thier lives right away...or go through some dramatic transformation in the near future...but I, or rather God, planted a seed. So it is all good. I just feel like there may be some hope for parts of this world still...which is a good feeling.

Debbi told me yesterday...prophetically...that there is a deep sadness in me that I will never get rid of. I have this deep understanding of the world, and how lost it is, and dead it is...
I know it sounds kind of weird...just bear with me. she said it was a gift from God, any gift from God is meant to draw you closer to him...and my sadness would leave me clinging to God, because he is life, and he gives joy to the brokenhearted. I think that is awesome. And I feel like she has put into words something I have tried to figure out for years.

My favourite new little friends are these three boys (10, 11, and 14) that visit me at work every time I close. They help me sweep the floors and clean the tables and the bathrooms. They are the sweetest things, and I sometimes give them pop or cookies or my free sub. The one kid, the eldest, was rejected by his dad, who bought him an apartment of his own so he would not have to deal with him. I was SO sad for him. He is the one who visits me all the time at work. The other two join him sometimes. He called me mom yesterday cuz I told him he HAD to go to school, and bring me back a note tonight proving he actually went. He is a good kid, I would much rather him hanging out with me than doing only God knows what with his friends. I have so much compassion for kids who have shatty parents. There are SO many of them up here, it seriously makes me sick.

Well, I am going to go now. So have a pleasant today, and a wonderful tomorrow. Love ya.

it wasn't me

Have you ever had a conversation with someone which dramatically impacted thier lives, only to discover that you can't take credit for whatever help you have given at all. The words were not yours. Let's face it. This happens FAR more often than we think. 'WOW! You are SO wise!' or even 'You are really deep!' are no longer phrases that I can personally take as a compliment. I realised that whenever I am placed in a situation with another human facing some sort of dilema, I listen, and then, in most cases, I open my mouth...and words come out. I can't describe where they come from, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt...it is NOT from my brain. I understand now that any knowledge that I have shared from experience, or even wisdom that I have felt prophetically (or whatever you want to call it) is ALL from God. Even the situations that I have been through that have led me to certian conclusions...whether God willed it or not, He has used it...and spoken through it. Solomon asked God for wisdom, which leads me to believe that ALL wisdom is Gods. Whatever tid bits He has lent us, they are still His. I am not sure if this is making sense, I just want to make sure I am giving credid where credit is due. I am sick and tired of us humans looking for some sort of acknowledgement or applause from others, in order to feel...better. Better than other humans. Why do we try to complicate the simplest things, like life. We were created to love God, and to love eachother. Why have we turned the world into this huge...system...of systems. And we are constantly looking for something to do that will make us happy. Is it not plainly obvious to everyone that the only thing that will make us fufilled and content with ourselves is accepting that we are loved unconditionally. Think about it. If we truely believed that there is NOTHING we can do to be loved more than we already are...and no person, job, or status will ever satisfy as much as God, how much better off would we be.

Let me know your thoughts.
I have to clean the kitchen.

Peace