oh glorious events

My oh my, it has been a while. Well, I am back, all thanks to a ms. bethany elaine ventura. Work, it has been ever so draining, and time has simply flown. Last night I watched two seasons of Family Guy...it quenched my thirst for great entertainment. I have not had much interesting developments in my life in general. Subway sold to some new owners, they are of pakistanian discent. I am not too bothered,(this comment has been removed from the author!!) Riiiiight. Moving on. I was soaking the other day, yesterday in fact. I was finding it really hard not to say anything to God, and just let him speak. Usually it is not so bad, but yesterday I was just sooo frustrated. I had so much going through my mind.

Here is a little example of how I felt (there is no way a story can show exactly how i have been feeling, but it is along those lines):

Suzy and Jared are married. Suzy gives EVERYTHING she has to Jared. She is totally obsessed with getting to know him, and aspires to be as much like him as she can (wow, what a twisted and crazilly unrealistic story!). She tells him to make her into whatever he desires, and take her wherever he wants her to go. But Jared does not respond at all in the way Suzy thought. Jared is so in love with Suzy that he wants her to make decisions on her own about where she goes, and how she is. Suzy feels somewhat rejected, and a little useless to Jared. Jared just says that he loves her, and would continue to love her just as much no matter what happens. Suzy goes to Jared again begging for him to tell her how she can be better, or where she could go that would make him happy. He continues to say he loves her...nothing else. Suzy then quiets herself down to hear what Jared has to say to her, but she has those same questions in her mind as he answers and she is unable to hear what he is saying.


So there you have it. I don't know If that story made sense at all. I don't even really care. Everything will work itself out in time. Stupid time, I hate it. There is not enough of it. God must love the no time thing. He can spend as much time as he wants with people, and he never has to start work cuz it never is 'time to go'...wow...i just lost myself. I need coffee.

I went to cell last week. It was wonderful. We had to make a one, three and five year plan. At first it was really hard for me to do. I am very goal orientated, and I did not want to write anything down that I would fail at...but God told me to trust him. So I wrote stuff. I realized that I have a lot of really exciting dreams. I think I know myself a little better now too. My weirdest goal was to one day do a dvd commentry. I know it's crazy, but it would be soooo fun. Also, I want to host a TV show that has NO famous people on it. I hate that people idolize celebs...I want to have joe-schmoz on...and ask them how life is. It would be so great. I would call it the...nonceleb show? Sigh...that name sucks...but I have a while to work on it.

I also have personal goals, like I want to obvisouly lose weight...which WILL happen my friends. Get my own car...get way closer to God. Oh yeah, I really want to be known as a God chaser. I would love it if people did not know my name or anything...and when they discribed me to people they would be like 'oh yeah, you know that girl, the one who is crazy about God' yeah, that would be amazing.

It would be cool to be understood too. I mean, a lot of people kinda get me...but they dont know where I am coming from. Wow...on a scale of one to ten, that made ZERO sense. Deal with it, it made sense to me. Sorta.

What else to say...right. I am going on a road trip with my bestestes...probably to new brunswick cuz miami is too expensive, but we may end up going to winnepeg too. Oh the questions. We will see. We will probably go before Fresh Wind. Then I have to work at the conference. It should be a hoot, but it probably won't be (goal:dont be a pessemist) (is that a word) (i guess so, if not, people will see what i mean)

Okay, I'm outy